The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

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Vargr1105
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The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#1 Post by Vargr1105 »

One of these days...


...when my current campaigns are done, I might consider doing something more ambitious. Specifically use good'ol AD&D to run an adventure on Middle-Earth.

As way of disclaimer: nothing of what I am posting here is binding. I'm making no assurances this will ever see the light of day here in the US forums and this isn't a recruiting thread, just a placeholder to shoot the sh*t and gauge interest.



Drumroll...

Unless you have been living under a rock you must have heard about an old RPG called "MERP". Published by Iron Crown Enterprises in the early 80's, the same company famous for that behemoth of a chart-heavy RPG called "Rolemaster", it holds the honor of being the very first official, Tolkien Estate approved, role playing game set in Middle Earth.


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Like all great works MERP inspires about as much love as it does derision. My experience with it is limited to playing two sessions, and running one self-made adventure. Now that I finally have had the chance to lake a look at its supplements my impression of the game has changed.

I disagree with those that say MERP is to complex of an RPG. It is certainly cumbersome, and unplayable without recourse to at least one (preferably two) electronic calculators; and more importantly the chargen system is broken because a) it hardly allows for the creation of PCs anywhere near the level of competence/power you see on the supplements, and b) on average you get 1st level characters who are mathematically unable to use their class skills successfully. Apart from this, it is also a rules system nigh-impossible to use for a PbP.

But what MERP lacks in mechanics it makes up for in setting details. And here is where we come to the 2nd set of usual resistance to it.

Middle-Earth, while cherished by most FRPG players seems to also originate feelings of denial and downright revulsion when the subject of actualy playing using that setting is brought up. Here is teh nay-saying i have heard about it and my counterpoints:


- Middle-Earth is hallowed ground, thread not on it

Or something to that effect. The idea seems to be that Prof. Tolkien creation is somehow "holy" and using it for gaming purposes is some sort of "sin". This is, of course, patently absurd when you think about it. Any setting anywhere is viable material to be used, either in part or whole and with whatever degree of adherence to canon one wishes. This is not a religion or cult and only people who take their medieval fantasy waaaaay to seriously can honestly use this argument as a reason against roleplaying in ME.


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- It is too hard to render a faithful rendition of ME

This criticism ties in with the one above, and makes the mistake of assuming we should strive after some idealized "kosher" quality to ME roleplaying that is measured by how "Tolkienesque" it trully is. This lead to another nay-saying argument which is that the amount of setting familiarity required to achieve the "kosherness" is too much for the average player, and that obtaining it is paramount to "study", hard work, etc and no fun at all.

This line of argumentation is so feeble that it hardly merits an answer. One only has to look around at other fantasy settings to realize that folks use just the amount of canon they are comfortable with in their individual campaigns. There is no reason ME role-playing should be any different...as long as the group has a consensus. Whether you are going through Tolkien chronologies and studying elvish lexicons, or having Aragon duke it out mano-a-mano at the Teeth of Mordor with a Mecha-Sauron that shoots laser-beams from his lidless eye...as long as you're having fun you're doing it right (and purists be damned!).


- ME is too boring & ME is a railroad

Playing during the War of the Ring can be boring as heck because a) everyone knows what will happen, b) PCs will have zero effect on the happenings, and c) there isn't that much going on outside of an area centered between Gondor, Rohan and Mordor. Heck, most of the NorthWest (the "good guys" turf) is a political and demographic wasteland, while the lands in the thrall of evil are bonafide nigh-impenetrable wastelands themselves.

If you stop to think for a second you will realize nothing of this is surprising. Roleplaying during the War of the Ring is the equivalent of playing Star Wars when the Battle of Endor is just starting. It was a whole lot of fun to watch, but it hardly makes good adventuring material to watch NPCs be awesome and save the day.

The way that ICE dealt with all of this was to set MERP over 1,000 years before all the happenings on the books, specifically between 1600-1700 T.A. (the War of the Ring happens around 3020 T.A.)


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While still familiar, this is a very, very different Middle-Earth from that we've read on the Trilogy and "The Hobbit", and it is a place that just screams to be played and where the goals of PCs are much more similar to those of traditional FRPG. while there are "big bads" they are nowhere as powerful and overwhelming as Sauron at the end of the 3rd Age. There are more political regions and more focuses of tension and conflict that the single BIG BAD vs. GOOD GUYS theme of the books. Plus, an adventuring party can mess about all their want that the consequences will not be felt for many, many centuries. Do they kill Bilbo's great-great-great-(...)-grandfather thus preventing the little guy from ever being born and finding the One Ring? Who cares?

On a more "gaming" perspective the "ME is boring" angle really refers to Middle-Earth not having the variety of monsters we've grown to love and kill in AD&D. While this is partially true, once you understand the cohesive whole of the nature of the supernatural on ME you'll find out you can shoe-in praticaly anything you want. You can have beholders, and mind-flayers in ME if you really want; after all, Morgoth had entire ages worth of time to spawn monsters, and spawn them he did. The difference is that new races of monsters will be located in out-of-way, isolated places (thus explaining why no one or very few have heard of them) or are unique examples of their kind.


So stay tuned for some info on what mid-17th century Third Age Middle Earth looks like, what you can play there and how it works under AD&D. Just remember the word of the day here is: tongue-in-cheek. If you are being too serious about it you're not having enough fun. And that is why we are here in the first place. :)


Oh yeah, about the thread title...that's an inside joke of an acquaintance of mine who was a really big fan of MERP and played a dwarf PC who had killed a cow with a single punch. Seemed like as good a title as any to set the right mood for this.
Last edited by Vargr1105 on Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#2 Post by Brund the Decrepit »

Wow!
I would hope that there would be interest in this (I know I am :shock: ). I played MERP for a brief time with my group back in the 80's and I loved it. For reasons I can't remember we didn't keep playing and I am not sure if I still have my books. I will check and get back if I can find them because now you have piqued my curiosity to re-read the rules. I too remember it as being a bit complex but I also remember having a lot of fun with it.

It would be interesting to see how you could try and make it fit with AD&D.

*dashes off to the secret man-cave library*


-Brund

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#3 Post by Vargr1105 »

Ok fellow Tolkien afficionados. Just exactly would one be able to play as a PC in Middle-Earth?

One of the facets of Iron Crown's MERP which I really have to take my hat off to is the way they dealt with races. Unlike practically every other FRPG under the sun at the time which had bewildering sub-varieties of demi-humans and treated all humans the same, making no concessions for race, culture, religion, etc, MERP did exactly the opposite. There is more, and very significant, racial and cultural *human* variation in this setting than you can shake a stick at. Some of them grant mechanical bonuses while others really shaft you in relation to the best picks. They affect which languages you start with and may learn, what classes you can be, etc.

I should note I really don't fault AD&D1e for not having this feature. It is after all and generic fantasy game and Greyhawk, its original campaign and still the campaign benchmark to this day, did have a lot of human racial and cultural information from the get-go.

So without further ado lets see what available. This isn't a full representation of ME racial options, not by a longshot. Just what is commonly and logically available considering where ME adventures usually take place. All the info here relates to Middle-Earth in the 17th century Third Age. If you haven't heard about some of these folk, don't worry. Neither had I before reading MERP.


Racial List

Hobbit
-Harfoot
-Fallohide
-Stoor

Dwarf
-Petty Dwarf
-Umli

Wose

Man
-Black Numenorian
--Umbarean
--Usakani
-Corsair
-Dorwindan
Dunadan
-Dunlening
--Dusslinan
-Easterling
--Adekdaran
--Asdriag
--Balcoth
--Brygath
--Chey
--Furban
--Igath
--Logath
--Nurniag
--Odhriag
--Sagath
--Urgath
--Etc...
-Forodwaith
-Haradrim
--Northen
--Southern
-Northman
--Beijabar
--Eothraim
--Eriadorian
--Gramuz
--Woodsman
-Rural Men
--Angmarim
---Estaravi
---Rhudauran
--Eriadorian
---Arthedainian
---Cardolanian
---Gondorian
---Dale-Folk
-Urban Men
--Arthedanian
--Cardolanian
--Gondorian
--Lake-Folk
-Variag

Half-Elf
-Mortal
-Undying

Elf
-Noldo
-Moriqeundi
--Avari
--Silvan
--Sinda


Boy, that's a long list! Let's see some details:


Hobbits - Halflings by another name (or is it the other way around?). 3 variants exist: Harfoot Fallohide and Stoors but the differences are only aesthetic. The Shire was founded roughly 5 generations ago. Some old geezers still remember having met original Hobbit immigrants that came from Rhovanion. The Hobbits of this era are quite less lazy, gluttonous or useless than most of their descendants will be by the time of the War of the Ring. They use the normal AD&D rules for halflings but lack infravision abilities.


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Dwarves - Ok children here's the low-down. Dwarves here aren't massive tubs of lard'o'muscle as wide as they are tall like in Warhammer or WoW. They don't speak with Scottish accents, they are NOT comedic relief in any way, shape or form, AND most importantly they ain't that short to begin with; I myself stand only well less than a foot higher than the average dwarf warrior. The reason why the Khazad are perceived as stunted is because the other dominant cultures (Dunedain and Elves) are so darn tall to being with. When you are over 6' tall everyone else looks like a pigmy. As far as I'm concerned the whole "female dwarves are a minority" line is but propaganda. Last but not least, the number of female dwarves with beards is about the same as the number of elvish women with testicles.


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Umli - Mysterious and all-but-unknown race of (supposedly) Half-Dwarves living in the far north above Angmar. Only the Forodwaith have regular contact with them. "Dwarves who aren't", so to speak. Have reduced versions of the standard dwarvish resistances BUT unlike them Umli can be sorcerers.


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Petty Dwarfs - Reclusive survivors of the First Age. These are the degenerated descendants of Dwarves who were exiled from the great eastern Dwarven-Cities for a great crime held secretive by dwarven-lore. They were a dying race even before the birth of the Sun and the Moon. The last of their kin were long assumed to have finished their lives during the Elder Days, but unknown to most they are still around in the mid-Third Age. Would be taken for stunted dwarves by everyone except a true dwarf or an elf that had been around in the Elder Days. Sneaky and deceptive. Make much use of illusion magics and use the stats of AD&D Gnomes.


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Woses - The cave-men of Middle-Earth. Primitive, reclusive vegetarians who live in forests and spent lots of time playing tum-tum drums. They are currently more widespread than during the War of the Ring Era when they will be found only near Rohan. Their existence is unknown to the vast majority of people, and those living near areas where Woses dwell tend to think they are forest-spirits.


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Northtrons - Not a race per se, this is a catch-all term referring to the lily-white (and often blonde-haired and light-eyed) indigenous good people of Northwestern Middle-Earth to distinguish them from the more inferior, evil and corruptible darker skinned human races of the South and East. (Good Lord, it's such a breath of fresh air to have a fantasy settings done before all that PC crap became the dominant zeitgeist and who is unapologetic about it!)


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Black Numenorians - The "dark jedi" version of the Dunedain. Descendants of the Unfaithful Numenorians that turned their back on the Valar. Aggressive, proud, militant, arrogant and lovers of sorcery. Lack a specific homeland of their own, but several kingdoms in the near and far south are dominated by Black Numenorian individuals or lineages, most prominently the Storm King Akhôrahil. More Black Numenorians became Nazgul than any other race of Men. The one who will become the Mouth of Sauron is also a member of this race. Talk, dark, handsome and, for the most part, evil.


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Corsairs - Descendants of the losers of the Gondor Kin-Strife civil war some 150 years past and current inhabitants of the desert coast city-state and great port of Umbar. Of Dunedain origin intermixed with the local population. Culture resembles renaissance discovery-era Iberia with strong martial and maritime streaks plus the aggravating attitude of nobility in unjust exile. A sea power that is constantly harassing the Gondor coast. Most of the nobility proper that rules Umbar has kept itself pure and is Black Numenorian. A state of active war currently exists between Gondor and Umbar, but is fought mostly on the seas and coasts rather than in land army operations.


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Dorwinrim - Urbane Traders and travelers settled around the inland Sea of Rhun, smack between Endor and the East and hub of the great northern trade routes. Slavic/Eastern European types of renowned hospitality who love fine food, wine, partying, music and dancing. Famous for being true to their friends and infamous for being cruel to their enemies. The Kingdom of Rhun proper, further to the north of Dorwinrim lands, has been conquered by Angmarian forces due to the actions of several evil aristocratic Rhunnish families.


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Dunedain - Good-guy Ubermensh types. Direct descendants of the Faithful Numenorians and founders of the great realms of Arnor and Gondor (the later now split between Arthedain, Cardolan and Ruhadur). Very tall and very long-lived. Plus their woemen are multi-orgasmic and their menfolk have bigger penises, so everyone else envies, if not outright hates them. Most of the ruling cast of Arnor and Gondor is of this race or carries Adunaic blood. The Kings and of Arthedain and Gondor are Dunadan, as is what is left of the nobility of Ruhadur and Cardolan. The only human culture that produces true Rangers and Paladins. Have better relationships with non-Avari elves than any other human group. Yes, Aragorn was one of these guys.


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Dunlendings - Shaggy, superstitious hill celts with a bad attitude and a stubborn warrior streak that like to go apeshit from time to time. Have been on the loosing side of every major war in past Ages of Arda and will do so again before the end of the Third Age. Abandoned the field of battle in the War of Wrath (those that weren't fighting FOR Morgoth that is) and reneged their Oath of Fealty to Arnor during the Last Alliance of Elves and Men. The Dead of Dunharrow are ghosts of members of this race. Loud, theatrical and pugnacious.


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Dusslinans - Indigenous coastal population of Umbar that predate the founding of the city by the Numenorians during the Second Age. Supposedly related to the Dunledings. A pretty wretched lot eeking out a hard life based mainly around fishing whose young wish to join the Umbarean military more than anything else to escape their poverty.




Easterlings - Gengis Khan would love these guys. Lightly-armored Horse-people of the eastern horde. Many different tribes who hate each other as much or even more so than they hate everyone else. At war constantly either among themselves or making incursions into Rhun and Rhovanion hoping to extend their domains. Think Huns, Scythians, Mongols and Turks. The Witch-King of Angmar has been recruiting them in considerable numbers and some tribes are abandoning their ancestor-worshiping rites for the Sauronic religion. Infamous (and deservedly so) for being warlike, cruel and without honor. Also short and ugly by Northron standards to the point of some being described as "dwarf-like" in stature and appearance.


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Forodwaith - God! It's freaking cold out here! Sub-Artic/Artic nomads alike the Finns or Laponians. Fairly isolated from Endor and far removed (geographically at least) from the fights of the Free Peoples. Hate orcs fiercely as they have to contend with several of their "kingdoms" in their own lands. The "southern" Lossoth tribe has contact with Angamar and has provided aid to the Endorian Rangers. Most Forodwaith only know elves from their contact with a little-known Noldor kingdom in the Northern Waste.


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Haradrim - Alahu Akbar! Monotheistic semitic desert people who are f*ucked up in the head and like to strap explosives to themselves and...no, wait, wait! I'm getting the settings confused. Let's see...horses, camels, tulwars, turbans, scimitars, hookas and male supremacy. Northern: wiry desert nomads, Southern: urbane and cultured coastal dwellers akin to worst decadence of Medieval Muslim kingdoms. The bulk of their tribes is Allied with the Corsairs of Umbar and/or dominated by Black Numenorians whether trough influence or downright conquest. During mid-Third Age they lack cohesive political unity and are divided in scattered tribes and cities. Thanks to the influence of the likes of Akhôrahil the Blind Sorcerer and Adûnaphel the Quiet, many Haradrim abandoned their traditional religion for the Dark Faith.


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Beijabar - These dudes would probably fit better than any other Middle-Earth culture on the cover of a Scandinavian Metal music album. A cross between Land vikings and lumberjacks. No-nonsense hairy, burly nordic types who keep to themselves in their forest retreats in Rhovanion. Have a weird "Cult of the Bear" and some are rumored to be shape-changers. Have a pretty good relationship with animals and hang around them a lot. Oddly enough for such a hot-blooded bunch of bastards, many of them are vegetarians.


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Eothraim - Horse Lords, but of the nice and good kind. The ancestors of the Rohirrim before there was a Kingdom of Rohan. Dwell in Southern-Eastern Rhovanion and are staunch enemies of the Easterlings and (to a lesser extent) the Haradrim and Variag. Their culture and aesthetics are decidedly Saxonic. What the Swedes could have looked like if their had sufficient horses and enough flat terrain to make any good use of them. IMHO the most awesome human culture of Middle-Earth bar none, with the the baddest-ass men and the prettiest women.


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Gramuz (or Plainsfolk) - The semi-nomadic northron inhabitants of Rhovanion that kept to the old ways. Cultural cousins of the Dale-Folk and Lake-Folk. Have a reputation for being untrustworthy. Physical appearances aside, perhaps the closest thing to Gypsies that exists in Middle-Earth.


Eriadorian Northmen - The equivalent of the Gramuz in the western side of the Misty Mountains. Rarer and smaller in number in the more civilized lands of Eriador. Unlike the Plainsfolk of Rhovanion they are quite un-gipsy-like and more Hyborean-like. The waves of civilization the Numenorians brought to Eriador have made this culture quite a rarity and they have no expression larger than the small tribe.




Woodsmen - What Robin Hood and his Merry Men would look like if they were a full-blown people and had lived in the dark forest of Mirkwood for centuries. Have a decidedly drudic/hippy-ish bent. Most are quasi-nomadic but a few have formed settled communities near where the Old Road meets the Anduin river.


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Rural Men - Country bumpkins. The average rural commoner of Northwest Arda during the Third Age. Most look like the extras you see in a Hollywood movie depicting British medieval peasantry.


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Angmarim - Catch-all term for The poor bastards who happen to be subjects of the Witch-King of Angmar because they lived in the land he claimed, or in the no-man's-land that Rhudaur became after his armies destroyed it; also includes the Dunleding, Easterling, Rhunnish and even Haradrim people who have voluntarily immigrated there to join the hosts of Angmar.


Estaravi - The original northtron inhabitants of the upper vales of the Anduin and the regions north of Cardolan and Rhudaur. Fairly remote, they fell easily to the forces of Angmar. Since then the Estaravi have, for the most part, thrived in the service of the Witch-King and their culture re-aligned into providing manpower for his armies.


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Rhudauran - Originally rural Eriadorians of the kingdom of Rhudaur, these people today are divided between small isolated communities in the no-man's-land that their former coutry became and second-class inhabitants of the Angmarim Empire further to the north. The Rhudauran urban culture has vanished entirely with its cities.


Eriadorian (Arthedainian, Cardolanian or Gondorian) - the common rural folk of the 3 remaining Adunaic political realms. "Plain" is a word that fits them like a glove.


Dale-Folk - the Rural Men counterparts of Eriadorians in the lands of Rhovanion. If anything, even more rustic than their Eriadorian counterparts.




Urban Men (Arthedanian, Cardolanian, Gondorian) - the sophisticated and urbane non-Dunedain inhabitants of the large cities of Eriador such as Minas Tirith, Tharbard, etc. They look just like the country bumpkins but have better clothes and use better grammar. They also bathe more often.


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Lake-Folk - What passes for urban people in Rhovanion, whose maximum exponent are the inhabitants of the famous Esgaroth and Dale town.




Variag - Weird-ass people with no specific Terran counterpart, although racially they seem to have elements that might remind the Tamil, Indonesian or Polynesian An ancient, semi-nomadic empire of evil horse-people totally controlled by a caste of Sauronic priests. Think "Fu-Manchu", think "Ming the Merciless" and pyramid-temples on an arid plateau burning with the smoke of human sacrificial victims. Cruel even by the standards of of other "evil" Mannish races, these guys can give Orcs a run for their money in downright meanness. Make heavy use of tattoos, scarification and piercings.


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Half-Elves - The product of a Edain-Firstborn mating. Quite rare. Upon reaching adulthood a Peredhil must choose whether to live the life of a mortal, gaining Eru's Gift of Death, or becoming an undying elf. Depending on their choice, rules-wise they are treated as Dunadan or Elves from that moment onward. Unlike in traditional AD&D settings, ME helf-elves do not suffer of estrangement issues from Adunaic or Elvish cultures.


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Elves - All know what ME elves are like but here are some specifications. All Elves are trully unageing (but definitively not immortal). They lack the resistances to Ghoul Paralysis and Magical Charm of their normal AD&D counterparts and their Infravision does not work in full darkness. However, they are immune to all fear effects caused by the Undead. Like AD&D elves they cannot be resurrected. Not because they lack souls, but because these travels to the Halls of Mandos after their deaths and are not allowed to leave. The Firstborn are not shorter than Men and use AD&D human height tables while keeping the elf weight table values. They tower over most kinds of Lesser Men, only the Northrons are commonly of elf-height and only the Denedain are taller than them on average. Last but not least an elf PC, depending on specific type, must place between his highest and 3rd-highest Ability Score on CHA. That is right folks Charisma ain't a dump stat anymore, at least not if you're playing an Elf.


Noldor - these are the guys (or their descendants) who made the trip to Valinor and left the blessed realm to return to Middle-Earth, avenge the death of their King and retrieve the Silmarils from Morgoth. Today many of the Noldor, unlike other elves, are barred by the Valar from taking a ship from Lindon to travel to the Undying Realm and they quite resent the fact. Their last great Realm in Eriador was Eregion, destroyed during the Second Age. Afterwards, survivors and refugees migrated to several differnt areas and established new homes. Foremost among these are Evermist to the far north lands of Forodwaith, Imladris, ruled by Elrond Half-elven and the forest of Lorien, ruled by Celeborn and Galadriel, she who would become "not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH!" and loved in great despair by all, if she ever took the One Ring for herself.
These guys are simultaneously the most technically-advanced cukture and the greatest magicians in Middle-Earth, churning out more magical artifacts than anyone else. Perhaps only the dwarves make magic armor and weapons in greater number.

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These being happier times rather than the era of absolute despair that late-Third Age will become, the elf-realm of Lorien has not yet acquired its evil reputation among outsiders (and one not totally ill-deserved I might add) of being a xenophobic place tainted by evil sorcery and ruled by a witch.




Moriqeundi - These are the elvish guys that didn't make it to Valinor, for whatever reason. The "dark elves" that never saw the light of Aman. They are sub-divided into 3 kinds:


Sindar - The Sindar are the elves that did start the trip to Aman but abandoned it halfway and decided to dwell on the Northwest shores of Middle-Earth. They were heavily influenced by the Noldor when they returned to war with Morgoth. The best sailors and ship-builders of all Middle-Earth, maritime exploration is in the Sindar's blood. They have launched ship expeditions as far south as Cape Metharn (the Southwesternmost land of Endor), and as far north as the great Northern Waste, just for the heck of it and to see what was there. After the fall of Numenor and until that nasty Umbar-Gondor war business got started, the Sindar dominated the coastal trade routes connecting Eriador with the south. Their center of power (if it can be called such) are the Heavens of Lindon, ruled by Cirdan, the greatest shipwright of Arda since the First Age and former keeper of Narya, the Ring of Fire; also, one of the few elves that sports a beard.


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Silvan - The most common and rustic elves of Middle-Earth. The silvan elves did not answer the call of the Valar to travel to Aman and remained in their forest homes. However, they interacted with the Sindar, took active part in the battles of the First and Second Age and are considered part of the Free Peoples. Some Silvan elves feel a great compulsion to make the crossing journey to Valinor when they first see the western sea or even when they hear a seagull "singing" for the first time.


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The most prominent Silvan Elf political entity of Middle-Earth; in fact the ONLY one worthy of the title of "Kingdom" is the Woodland Realm found in Northen Mirkwood. It is ruled by that tremendous douchebag and all-around colossal waste of oxygen consumption known as "King Thranduil", this is the same worthless sack of pig excrement that does not refuses to pay his bills for due for services rendered, imprisons innocents to rot in dungeons without trial, appeal or recourse, does not lift a finger to help the plight of the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth and hosts picnics in Mirkwood Forest while not giving a damn that people are being eaten alive by giant, poisonous spiders nearby. BUT he sure as heck gets of his arse faster than you can shout "Ah Elbereth Gilthoniel" and raises a full-blown elvish host that marches dozens and dozens of miles when he hears that SOMEONE ELSE slew a terrible dragon and its horde now is ripe for stealing FROM THEIR ORIGINAL OWNERS WHO GOT ROBBED BY THE DRAGON IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WENT TROUGH ALL THE TROUBLE OF BEING INSTRUMENTAL IN ITS SLAYING NOW. Furthermore, this satanic individual will have no qualms about having his army kill dwarves and humans if it means he will get his grubby little paws on looted dwarven treasure faster, and will only stay his course when a God-darn MAIA ISTARI points out that there's FREAKING FULL-BLOWN ORC HORDE coming this way over them there hills!

In my version of Middle-Earth this sordid character meets a well-deserved agonizing and humiliating demise at the end of the War of the Ring, when he is repeatedly gang-raped unto death by the same host of Uruk-hai that invades Mirkwood and set the great forest ablaze with fire. The good thing about Middle-Earth is that no one, neither Man nor Elf nor Valar can escape their Fates...or due comeuppances.




Avari - Technically, the Avari are Silvan elves, as this words refers to the "deniers" that chose not to take the journey to the Blessed Realm. But here specifically, the term means the elves that went full-blown "F*uck You! We're not interested!" to the summons of the Valar, kept themselves out of all the major issues of the last over 3 millenia (usually in remote regions outside Western Endor) and didn't concern themselves with anyone's fate but their own.
Self-centered, egotistical or down right xenophobic; currently all Avari groups or realms have long been corrupted by The Shadow and are aligned with the Sauronic forces, or are in the process of having their asses handed to them by the same. Examples of these include the Sauron-worshiping Avar Realm of Hekanen by the Eastern Sea (where Middle-Earth China would be) and the Urdar elven tribes that inhabit the cold forests south of Urd and alternated between keeping to themselves, fighting and enslaving the human Urd tribes, being defeated by them due to a the aid of a Sauron-worshipping Avari traitor and finally having their comeuppance handed to them in spades by the Nazgul Noarmûrath...twice!


Honourable Mention: The Court of Ardor

But in terms of pure Elvish evil nothing beats the mysterious, gonzo, and borderline frothing-at-the-mouth-insane far-off Court of Ardor within their jungle citadels of Mûmakan on southernmost Middle-Earth; with their drugs, demonology, Amberian tarot decks and their master plan to destroy the Sun and the Moon via a ritual that involves the love-child their leader had with Morgoth himself during the First Age (I swear I am not making this up!). These folks are so out there they would probably make members of the cannibalistic orc tribes of Mordor go "Dudes, for Sauron's sake, get a grip!". And speaking of the Dark lord himself, it is worth noting that his opinion on the Ardorians was such that until Gil-Galad and Elendil the Tall cut him up to size and REALLY ruined his day during the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, he was planning on destroying these people because they where TOO insane and evil even for his standards.


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Next Up: A primer on just exactly what is different between T.A. 1600-1700 and the War of the Ring period we are all familiar with.

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#4 Post by Dogma »

Never had a chance to play MERP but was always intrigued by it.

And I have no hang ups about playing in Middle earth, so mark me down as interested.

(In fact, my early attempts at world building were blatant ME rip-offs, but then again, I was only 12 at the time.)

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#5 Post by Brund the Decrepit »

Well so far I cannot find any of my MERP resource material and I could have sworn I still had a boxed set of the rules (or at least I think I can picture it in my mind..) The only thing I have been able to find so far is my copy of the adventure module, Bree and the Barrow-Downs.

One thing that I seem to remember vividly was the hit location and damage/wound chart for combat. I seem to recall some pretty spectacular archery shots. :twisted:

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#6 Post by max_vale »

I'd be interested as well and I certainly have no issues with not playing 100% 'cannon' to Tolkein. The 2 major things I always had a problem with in Tolkein (and would therefore alter in a game set in Middle Earth) was the "Elves are just greater and better than everybody" and the blatant racism of all the "Good" people being pale-skinned and European-esque and all the "Bad" people being everything else. (Southron, Easterling; etc.) Call me PC if you like; but I've never had tolereance for that kind of crap.

On a related but slightly different note; if you haven't had the chance to check out "The One Ring" RPG; I'd definitely recommend it. I have yet to have the chance to play it; but the books are excellent in my opinion! (The default setting for this game is 5 years after the end of the Hobbit)

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#7 Post by Vargr1105 »

Brund the Decrepit wrote:Well so far I cannot find any of my MERP resource material and I could have sworn I still had a boxed set of the rules (or at least I think I can picture it in my mind..) The only thing I have been able to find so far is my copy of the adventure module, Bree and the Barrow-Downs.
Jesus! Where did you find that site? I had no idea it existed. :o
Brund the Decrepit wrote:One thing that I seem to remember vividly was the hit location and damage/wound chart for combat. I seem to recall some pretty spectacular archery shots. :twisted:
There is no hit location charts in MERP. I think you mean the wounding criticals which depend on which type of damage you are causing (slashing, crushing, puncturing, etc).

This is one of the aspects where I feel ICE screwed up in their simplification of the Rolemaster system to create MERP. The combat rules are pretty much the same but they reduced the variety of criticals to 20% of what RM had. This means as combats go along you begin getting the same crits over and over again sooner and it soon becomes stale.
Dogma wrote:Never had a chance to play MERP but was always intrigued by it.

And I have no hang ups about playing in Middle earth, so mark me down as interested.
I wasn't planning on running Middle-Earth using MERP rules, just using it for the background. But folks seem keen on it.

I think the system is nigh-unplayable as it stands and has a lot of oddities, despite some good ideas. I mean, I did the math and found it is practically impossible to make a 1st-level Ranger who can actually track anything or a Thief who can pick any but the simplest of locks. And if you do roll high enough to succeed, chances are *anyone* rolling the exact same on the dice would succeed, ranger or thief or not.

We would need some hefty calculatin' just to add all the bonuses during chargen to figure out the final skill levels. And don't even get me started on the XP system. You need to nominate an accountant just to note down everything you are getting XP for and then do the tally. But the worst bit seems to be that while MERP has a nerfed character generation system, every NPC was designed using Rolemaster, which makes them freakin-ubber-powerfull in comparison. Again, I ran the math and found there is no way some of the NPCs in the modules can be designed with MERP rules. You have the equivalent of AD&D 17, 18 and 19 stats being handed out like candy for NPCs while players are only guaranteed ONE measly stat at 15 as minimum. Cripes! Even the pre-generated PCs on the book are almost statistically impossible to roll using the chargen rules.

The critical damage system, supposedly the funniest thing about the game, ain't that funny at all when it happens to your PC. Everyone trouts about how awesome and deadly MERP/Rolemaster combat is and I really don't get why this is supposed to be a good thing. What is fun about having your immortal (and unhurt) elf warrior slain by a stunted goblin with a club in one blow just because your GM rolled 90 on a 1d100?

90 - "Blow to back neck paralyzes from shoulders down. +25 Hits. Foe quite stunned."

Have fun playing your paraplegic Elf warrior... :shock:


LoL, this reminds me...on the game I ran the Noldor elf fell from a tree he was trying to climb, twice, and twisted the exact same ankle on each occasion (the charts said so). That is just how useless 1st level MERP PCs are. On the other hand, the 1st level dwarf killed an unscathed Troll with one blow by slicing its leg off with a battleaxe, because the player rolled a 90-something on the 1d100 to attack, and another 90 or so on the critical chart. That was it, no strategy, no tactics, just pure, dumb dice luck.

This a system where it is darn impossible to gauge anything as a player and everything depends on how high you roll your 1d100, and if the result is 96+ then you usually can do anything. This is a game where you have to make a roll to account for running to charge the enemy, so there is the chance you will fall and break your neck if you screw up the dice-rolling badly enough. It can be fun, but mostly in a Monthy-Python manner. Character death is not fun at all because chargen elaborate and takes a while.
And magic-users suck arse, you might be able to warm water or something at 1st level using your mighty magic.


But hey, if this thing happens and folks would rather go with MERP than an AD&D adaptation...what the heck. At least I already know how to generate MERP player characters who aren't nerfed to point of being neutered. And since I have RM Arms Law it means we can use RM critical damage charts and get 500% of the gruesome.

91-96 - "Strike to side of head. Knocked out for 6 hours. +10 Hits. If no helm: dies instantly."

Yes, that's INSTANTLY, with no save and no mater how high-level the poor damn bastard is or how many hit points he has.

I am not sufficiently sadistic of a GM to inflict this upon players as a condition of playing in Middle-Earth, but if players are sufficiently masochistic to want it I will do like Pilate and wash my hands off the matter.

Forgive them oh Manwe, for they know not what they do :D

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#8 Post by Mondego »

MERP campaign material is quite good. When we played Rolemaster it was set in Middle Earth using the MERP ref materials.

I would be interested in playing 1e set in ME. I would also play MERP/Rolemaster...if I had the books handy

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#9 Post by hedgeknight »

I just scrolled through this thread (at work and don't have time to do a thorough reading), but am stoked about the possibility of being in a game like this. Consider me interested!
Winter is coming...

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#10 Post by Brund the Decrepit »

Vargr I didn't want to imply that I think something like this should be run under the MERP rules. I just a had a fit of nostalgia and as we all know, time has a way of dulling unpleasant experiences so it is possible that the reason we stopped play was because of the MERP rules set themselves. I would be very interested to see what you could come up with using AD&D 1E for ME.

Keep the cool ideas and information flowing!

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#11 Post by Dogma »

same here...They were actually two different thoughts...one that I never had a chance to play MERPS and the other that I would like to play in a LoTR games. Should have been more clear.

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#12 Post by Vargr1105 »

Seems like there's a lot of love for Middle-Earth around here. I think I will put the system used to popular vote when we get around to it. Either option, MERP or AD&D will require some extra work, though on different areas.

I'm finishing the next post. Meanwhile here's some comic relief that has nothing to do with role-playing, but, if this guy was gaming he'd have the right attitude to play in Middle-Earth campaign ran by yours truly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkoK30rXjfo

For all it is worth, I lean towards Bakshi version myself, even though I have only seen bits of it.

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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#13 Post by Vargr1105 »

Finally, I managed to complete this post.


Ok, here are some of the main differences to keep in mind about Middle-Earth as a setting in 1600--1700 T.A. compared to the War or the Ring period circa 3020 T.A.

This is about all I can remember. Folks who are really, really into their Tolkien-lore might know more.




Eriador is more than just a boring wasteland

During the War of the Ring it seemed there was nothing in the vast expanses of land of what was once Arnor besides ruins and country bumpkins. It is a depiction that is not fully removed from the truth, but that will be THEN, and this is NOW, 17th Century Third Age.

There are cities aplenty in Eriador today, and roads, armies, knights, kings, princesses, hill tribes and all kind of good stuff that makes medieval fantasy worthwhile.

And don't worry, there are plenty of ruins and dungeons too, old and new. Just go to Ruhadur (what's left of it) and "Bob's yer uncle". Or better yet, go down to Bree and enjoy the cold beer before you dungeon-delve in the Barrow-Downs and experience having the life sucked out of you by wraiths.

And last but not least, some of the places which were useless, looted ruins by the time of the War of the Ring are fine, up and running such as the fortress of Amon Sul on Weathertop.

Politically NW Middle-Earth has 4 great regions: the (functional) Kingdom of Arthedain, the (disfunctional) Kingdom of Cardolan, the (wasted) "Kingdom" of Ruhadur and the (evil) Empire of Angmar. Besides this there is the (semi-autonomous) Shire, the Kingdom of Khazad-Dum, The elven Heavens around Lindon and a host of scattered Dunleding tribes all around. So whatever direction you travel towards you are bound to meet people.

Eriador, boring? Naaah...


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See? A worthless ruin in 3020 T.A., a living site meriting a full supplement of its own in 1650 T.A.




In times of peace the Race of Men makes war among itself

Ok, granted, Middle-Earth isn't exactly a wishy-washy setting full of progressive liberalism and calls for tolerance and inclusiveness. But still, one couldn't really be faulted for wondering if, after destroying two Dark Lords in 3,000 years, it wouldn't be time enough already for the Second-Born to...well, if not exactly become perfect neighbors and start turning all their swords into plowshares at the very least stopping to be so eager to plow their swords INTO their neighbors for no good reason all the damn time.

While Sauron can certainly be blamed for installing dark passions in the hearts of men, most of the mannish wars and all the misery they cause is Man's own fault. The annals of the last few centuries read like a tally of self-inflicted sufferings. Cases in point:

To say that the tribes of Easterlings, Variags and Haradrim have institutionalized warfare in their societies would be a mistake. Hell, their societies ARE institutionalized warfare, constantly fighting among themselves with such relishing cruelty it would give heartburn to a civilized man who heard about it. They only seem to obtain a semblance of political order and social unison when some BIG BOSS comes around and turns their collective destructive tendencies towards their neighboring peoples...which is like curing yourself of the flu by contaminating someone else.

The descendants of the Numenorians aren't that much better. Arnor split into 3 polities following a civil war and just for good measure the three new kingdoms decided that it wasn't enough and went to war AGAIN as separate countries. This warfare was instrumental in weakening Ruhudaur sufficiently to allow its latter destruction by Angmar, and while Cardolan survived the effects of the Great Plague on the numbers of its nobility, already well bled by Man vs. Man warfare, ensured that it has now ceased to exist as a viable political entity.

The Black Numenorians are even worse. These guys have made it a cultural hobby to create whole new nations, or usurp power in existing ones, with the single goal of destroying their Eriadorian cousins, by hook or by crock or by massive military effort.

The Dunledings have never stopped their time-honored traditions of holding grudges and coming down from the hills to steal your cattle and scare your women and children. Like jackals, they circle around, bide their time and strike when their enemies are weak; so the effective collapse of two thirds of Arnor has been a God-send for these guys. Paradoxically, the main reason why Dunledings aren't a bigger problem for their Endorian neighbors is due to their worst, more warlike elements being lured North into Angmar, the entity which at which's feet can be laid most of the blame of why Arnor is circling down the drain.

The Umbareans and Gondorians, despite being effectively the same people, are engaged in a hateful winner-takes-all war all on account of a political grudge that happened before the people that are currently fighting over were even born.

In Rhun the limitless human capacity for FREE EVIL is such that it merits its own individual entry.

So to conclude, besides the ever-looming threat of supernatural eeeeevil, common men of this day and age are more than willing to duke it out among themselves for all the mundane reasons our own medieval ancestors happily slaughtered each other about. In this day and age you could play a Middle-Earth campaign full of death, genocide, burning cities, wailing women and crushed enemies driven before you without laying eyes on a single Orc, Troll or Ghost.


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Seriously folks...can't we all just get along?




Libertarian Evil? Equal-Opportunity-Meritocracy and Strength-in-Diversity strategies

Among all this un-humanitarian massacre, perhaps the greatest joke of the Era is that the so-called "Evil Empires" are models of political stability under which a healthy amount of diverse populations live, and even thrive.

Seriously, talk about paradoxes. It seems like the Nazgul have taken aspects of two opposed political doctrines, similar to what China did with economics when they meshed Capitalism with Communism, and created black-iron-glove-in-a-silken glove autocracies bent on genocide, but which have citizens and residents of all races (High and Lesser Men, Elves, Orcs and Dwarves) that can climb up socially if they have the entrepreneurial skill and the will to do it.

The "Who's Who" of the upper echelons doing all the boots-on-the-ground operations on Angmar and the Far South read like a promotional poster for Middle-Earth Diversity, with races of Men that are normally found at each other's throats working side-by-side for a common goal and loving every moment of it.

The social engineering policies of the Nazgul have been so successful even the ratio of Orc-on-Orc cannibalism has decreased significantly in their realms, and that's no mean feat!

While during the War of Ring Sauron amassed whole armies of diverse and segregated peoples through seer terror, in the 17th century the Nazgul are taking a more melting-pot approach and using the carrot-and-stick reward system. The lands under control of the evil forces are much more vibrant and travel between them, even when the regions are far apart, is much more common today than it will be in the far future.




Sauron is a bogeyman

Even with immortals running about who can say "I WAS THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED!", over one millenia and a half passed since the Last Alliance of Elves and Men makes even the most horrid of memories begin to loose their sting. Unlike being the Mr. BIG BAD he will become by the time of the trilogy, Sauron is now a remnant of a memory used mainly to whip sicko people into religious frenzy or scaring little unruly kids into obedience; sort of like Morgoth before him in fact. No one, not even the Immortals of genius-level intelligence that are dime-a-dozen on Arda has even the inkling of an idea that the biggest, baddest, meanest Fallen Ainur of'em all is back in business and that he has plans, BIG plans.

Everyone knows about the Witch-King, and that he is bound not to be the only Nazgul that has returned to the West because the dark-cloaked figures whipping up sh*t up the furthest south or calling the shots over in the East cannot possibly be the exact same guy that is lording it over Angmar simultaneously.

But none have been able to put 2+2 togheter and deduce or intuit that "Nazgul Return" = "Return of Sauron". In the minds of leaders of the West the Ringwraiths fled and hid after their master's demise, to return only a few centuries ago and are acting independently. Even The Necromancer of Mirkwood is thought to be one the 9 himself, or some other dark legacy of the long-vanquished Lord of the Rings rather than the very Lord himself.

Believe me when I tell unto you: there is going to be sh*itting of bricks among "the Wise" in sufficient amounts to build a whole darn house of when, about 1,200 years from now, Sauron returns to Mordor, reveals his presence and declares himself Lord of Middle-Earth.

Some folks do not even realize that the Ringwraiths are acting in unison or what their true nature is. The Last Alliance of Elves and Men is over 16 centuries in the past, and apart from immortal elves and the scholars of the civilized kingdoms few know anything resembling the true story of Sauron and the Nine Rings of Power for Nine Mortal Men.


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They WILL be sh*tting bricks indeed...bwahahahaHAHAHAHA!!!




The Shire is currently populated by something more than short, useless sacks of meat

The Shire exists and it is only a century old. It is a very different place from the soul-crushing bourgeois wet dream it will become a few centuries down the line and that merited an entry in the annals of Middle-Earth history only because of a combination of astounding coincidences and unbelievable, industrial-grade amounts of good luck.

The Hobbits of the 17th century Third Age aren't that overweight or ignorant and don't have child-like maturity levels that make them hyperventilate in horror at the prospect of having less than 6 square meals a day. Oh no, no no...this is the era which will see the birth of barefoot badasses who strut around with mighty clubs, defeat orcish invasions, kill orc leaders with a single blow and are tall enough to ride horses.

If you have any doubts on the amount or quality of sheer Hobbit awesomeness to be found on this day and age (which makes their descendant's devolution in late Third Age all the more tragic) just consider: remember all the trouble that folks had in "The Hobbit" and "Fellowship of the Ring" attempting to cross the Misty Mountains? How the place seemed like a deathtrap and making the crossing felt like, literally, taking your life in own own hands? Well, the WHOLE HOBBIT POPULATION of the Shire made that trip en masse to get from Rhovanion to the Shire. Bad-Ass, balsy-ironed though motherfrakers down to every last man!


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This hobbit is 4'5" tall and BEHEADED an orc-chief with that club! Check them arm muscles.




"Figthing Army of the Uruk-hai"? You mean those dozen guys over there?

By the mannish reckoning of the passing of years, Uruk-hai have been around for a long time. But in this Era their numbers are nowhere near sufficient to field the full-scale battle formations that will be seen during the War of the Ring. The Enemy is keeping them as lieutenants, elite guards and shock platoons. The average person has no idea that this race exists and it is a common occurrence for some poor bastard to get his first unexpected encounter with the Super-Orc race. As far as the average man on the street knows, all orcs are shorter than humans, go blind in sunlight and fear magical light. Little do they know, he? :lol:


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A handy visual Orc-primer. Guess which one is the Uruk?




Witch-King "OF ANGMAR" actually means something

Forget Morgoth, forget Sauron, forget Ungoliant, forget Gothmog and Lungorthin. The new kid in town is the Witch-King of Angmar, and this dude is kicking arse, taking names and dishing out suffering with such awesomeness as it has not been seen since Sauron himself descended from Mordor during the Second Age to put Eregion to the torch and send the Noldor running away screaming like little b*tches (some of them didn't stop running until they reached the Northen Waste of Forodwaith, while most went hat-in-hand like beggars to beg for refuge in Lorien and Imladris).

When this Undead entrepreneur isn't spending time erecting his own multi-cultural and multi-racial, equal-opportunity confederation of Evil, he enjoys taking leisure time to help collapse the kingdoms of others, AND he is doing all of this without using his full sorcerous potential because his Sauronic magic could call into attention the fact that his Dark Master is back from the World of Shadow.

These days "of Angmar" is less of a surname and more of word denoting the very real Empire of Eeeeevil that rest just above what was once the northern borders of Arnor. The true axis of evil lies not East of Gondor but North of Arnor, and everyone knows it.

Pass the word: Mordor was yesterday. Angmar is new New Sh*t!


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Like any good community organizer the Witch-King consults with his subjects regularly




One does not simply walk into Mordor...because there is no need

It is still a dark, dismal place. A volcanic basin with very poor real-estate development potential and next to nil prospects for tourism. But Mordor today is a far cry from the nightmarish Empire of Eeeeeevil that it was when Lord Sauron was on the house. There are no orc armies, only orc tribes that spend more time eating each other than attacking Gondorians. The Nazgul use what is left of the proud fortresses their Master built to have a communication hub between Angmar, the East and the Far South. Apart from this Mordor is place no one cares much about because it so worthless. It's not that taking over the place could not be done if you were willing to piss men and money down the drain, it's simply that everyone would would go: "Why the f*ck for? What would ya do with it?"

Yes, the times of glorious eeeeevil when Mordor struck fear into the hearts of everyone is long gone. Things have fallen so low these days that there are semi-professional bravos that mount expeditions INTO Mordor to loot whatever riches are still left from the fall of Barad-Dur. Among these brave (nutty?) souls, giving Shelob the Great (remember her?) the slip is considered a rite of passage (I swear I am not making this up).


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LADY SHELOB IS NOT AMUSED AT YOUR TRESPASSING!!!





Gondor is F*ucking HUGE!

Pick a political map of late 16th or early 17th century Third Age Middle earth. Take a look at the region labeled "GONDOR" and try to keep your eyes from glazing over as you attempt to take in the sheer immensity of the place.

Honestly, the country is something like FIVE TIMES its size compared to when Aragorn comes to take the crown at the end of the books. It extends all the way from southern Eriador, encompasses the whole of Rohan, skirts along the very mountain borders of Western and Northern Mordor and extends all the way East to southern Rhun. This place is immense!

As if that was not enough, Gondor has political client-states to its South forming a buffer zone between it and Umbar (which technically is in Harad), and considers Rhovanion to be a "region of interest", intervening there politically.

When thinking of Gondor, think less "White City besieged by Evil" and more "Equivalent of Holy Roman Empire at its peak calling all the shots in central Middle Earth". Their massive sea power also makes them the equivalent of ME's British Empire, minus the imperialistic tendencies.

And lest you forget, there is no "Minas Morgul". The proud, ancient city of Minas Ithil is vibrant and hale standing guard at the very gates of Mordor and giving Sauronians the one-finger salute 24/7, 365 days per year.


(This is where the map of the Kingdom of Gondor would go...except it's to big to fit here)




Memo to The Istari: Get on with it!

You would think that 700 years would be more than enough time to mount an effective and pro-active resistance movement against the Sauronic forces, specially for immortal Magic-Users of Character Level 30+. But the Five Wizards that came from Valinor to help the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth do not seem to have gone past the "Collating Data" phase of whatever sorry excuse for a master plan they seem to have.

Cases in point: the Istari leader, Saruman the White, spends more time presiding over bureacratic meetings of the White Council than achieving anything productive. As the council of the "wise" is composed solely of immortals who are never in a hurry to do anything...ever, perhaps we should spread the blame around on this one. But still, a poor excuse for a leader is a poor excuse for a leader.

Gandalf the Grey seems to be always out "on adventure" and is never around when you really need him. He certainly wasn't anywhere to be seen when Rudhaur was destroyed and the Witch-King was laughing all the way to Carn Dûm with wagon-trains of loot and slaves.

Radagast the Brown seems to spend few of his days with around people and altogether too many with the animal critters of his personal natural preserve of Rhosgobel. While his the fuzzy and feathered friends are certainly cute, they make very poor allies of potency in the fight against the The Shadow.

As for Alatar the Light Blue and Pallando the Dark Blue (hey, I didn't pick their darn colors, Prof. Tolkien did), they both crossed over to the East and haven't been heard since. If their actions over there have had any detrimental effects on the Sauron-worshiping Eastern Kingdoms no one has noted the difference. The flow of wealth, supplies and food streaming from the Far East into Gundabad and Angmar certainly hasn't abated; in fact it has gotten so good of late that the Witch-King saw fit to conquer Rhun from the inside to ensure the safety of the trade routes bringing all that bling and nice stuff into his realm.

So if you are crossing your fingers that any of the Istari will pull of an "Elminster" and rescue your sorry arse while you are adventuring, a word of advice: DON'T.


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Dudes...seriously. Stop posing for portraits and GET ON WITH IT!!!




Isengard is wizardless and no hobbits are being taken there

Considered just how useless the Istari have been until now it is little wonder the Kingdom of Gondor hasn't seen fit yet to donate their bitchin' black spire of a tower to their leader, Saruman. The place is just one more of many Adunaic outposts scattered all over the place and is manned by much more sensible persons than any Wizard with a bad fashion sense ("of Many Colors"...seriously?) can ever ever hope to be.




"Ents" are little insects found in gardens

No one knows about slow, surly, walking and talking trees in Fangorn, and if you keep talking about it folks will assume you've gone ga-ga and have you committed to a mental institution.




Rhun is Middle-Earth's political equivalent of medieval Transylvania

Think of Vlad Tepes, the Impaler of Wallachia...got that?

Now imagine WHOLE ARISTOCRAT FAMILIES of Vlad Tepes.

Now imagine these same evil families VOLUNTARILY delivering their own country to the Dark Lord of Angmar using every trick in the book that the Borgias of Renaisance Italy were masters of.

You now have a pretty good idea of what has happened in Rhun one generation past and why that region is now fully aligned with the Witch-King.


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On the other hand, canoeing is still quite popular in Rhun




There is no Rohan, there is only the Ehotred

For all intent and purpose these guys are still the same (perhaps a bit more barbarous and less sophisticated) except they don't live in Rohan because it does not exist. They live in southeast Rhovanion and are called the Ehotred. They have those wonderful horses and like to spend their leisure time killing Orcs, Easterlings and Variags.

Forth Eorlingas!


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Bah! What's in a name, really? Ehotred FOR THE WIN!




Meet the Civilized Orcs of Gundabad! Much worse than the savage ones!

Boy...them orcs sure are doing it for themselves.

Whoever said that orcs are mindless savages that lack the capacity for self-organization when not prompted by a more powerful outside force has never been to Gundabad. In a site of strategic significance, this great underground Orc city guards the pass through the northern Misty Mountains and issues forth HORDES to battle against the Free Peoples. Just ask the dwarves of the Grey Mountains, they can tell you a thing or two about the dudes that have been giving them a run for their money and coming back for more!

And don't think that the Dark Lords are calling the shots here; while it's true Gundabad is an Angmarian client-state it is also an orc polity of its own, with levels of sophistication and organization that most would find unbelievable in orcs. Their numbers keep growing, their artisans keep churning magical armor and weapons that make the Dwarfs of Moria and Elf-smiths of Imladris purse their lips in ill-contained envy (when they aren't screaming for mercy while feeling the tender mercies of those same weapons). Their military forces are true armies, not tribal rabble. Their Goblin-king rules all with iron-hard will and is respected like to orc before ever since he got into the business of slaying Trolls bare-handed.

When you see the Orcs of Gundabad marching over the horizon: Run! Run away! Run fast! Run far! Run for the hills! They will burn your elven wood down, eat your women and rape your cattle.


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That horse-rider is not a Nazgul, he's a Gundabad Orc!




Erebor: Grand Opening Coming soon! Just wait a couple centuries.

The good news is: No dragon. These days Lonely Mountain is just what it says on the tin: a huge chuck of rock in the middle of a plain. The founding of the dwarven Kingdom of Erebor and the begining of its obscene accumulation wealth that eventually will catch the eye of a certain golden dragon is still some 400 years distant. A certain expedition involving one Hobbit, lots of dwarves and a wizard is still further in the future than that. Also, the city of Dale hasn't been burnt to a crisp yet and is doing just fine.


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Lonely Mountain - not much happening here, move along...move along now.


Oh, and to sweeten the deal consider that...


Balrog? What Balrog? There's no Balrog over here...

Not yet at least. Moria is fine, open for business and is THE No. 1 center of dwarven existence in NorthWestern Arda. It will be centuries before the dwarves of Khazad-Dum dig too deep and their miners have the biggest "HOLY F*CKING SH*T!!!" day of their then soon-to-be-shortened lives as they unleash a honest-to-God, real-life, balls-to-wall, self-immolating, flame-sword-swinging, fire-whipping and darkness-clothed Valarauko that is pissed off and hell-bent for leather on vengeance and slaughter as only a corrupt Maia fire spirit can be after 5,000 years of imprisonment. Seriously, this guy hasn't had a social life since the coming of the Vanyar hosts and the breaking of Thangorodrim and he won't be in the mood for stopping and saying hello when he gets released...he will be perceiving everything trough a veil of red-mist rage and attempting to turn everyone he meets into red mist paste too.

So rest yer weary legs, relax and enjoy some good dwarven hospitality (complete with lots of drink and good meats ripped straight off the bone) if you ever do stop by the grandest dwarven city of them all. Leave your cares at the door, Durin's Bane is long way off and it will be many, many generations before a forced dwarven diaspora happens at the hands of a fire demon and the Noldor of nearby Lorien begin to quake in their boots and piss in their breaches with fear of the "Nameless Evil" that takes hold of Moria.

Oh, word to the wise. If you think the Balrog of Moria is THE only Balrog left...it isn't. And if you think Balrogs are (Sauron excepted) the worst thing under the sun on Middle-Earth in this Age...think again! If you don't believe me take a trip south into Far Harad or Mumakan. Seriously, you wouldn't believe the demonic crap that can still be found over there.


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MR. BALROG OF MORIA IS NOT AMUSED AT YOUR TRESPASSING EITHER!!!




Bring Out Your Dead! Bring Out Your Dead!

No, I don't mean the Dead Men of Dunharrow. Those dudes are still out in them thar hills, undead and brooding and waiting for the chance to redeem their Oath-Breaking to the House of Isuldur, and THAT own't happen for a long, long time.


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Get back into your damn caves Ghost-Warriors! your time has not come yet.


What we are talking about is The Great Plague that ravaged the west about 2 generations ago. A mini-version of the Black Plague our own ancestors had to deal with, it wasn't quite so bad but still took its tool. The worse-hit areas (that would be around Rhovanion) suffered a population drop of about 25%, or 100% where all the living just got the hell out of dodge to escape the plague.
Still within living memory among the eldest of Men, every PC will have grown hearing about the most great doom of the land (or in the case of Dwarves and Elves they may have witnessed it first hand).

The two greatest effects of the plague where turning Mirkwood into an even more dismal place than it already was, and neutering the Realm of Cardolan out of existence by killing most of its ruling class. It was pretty bad in Gondor too and the loss of manpower to the plague put a dent on the Gondorian plans for military action on Rhovanion, thus leaving it more exposed than ever to the wiles of The Enemy.

The GOOD news for the Free Peoples were that the armies of the Witch-King of Angmar were also decimated by the plague, so he was not able to take any military advantage of the loss of Cardolan. And as there is no cloud without an extra silver lining, considering the plague arrived in Endor on the winter of 1635 T.A. coming from the East and its effects were lowered by the extreme cold of that winter, it means it scourged the Easterling lands of during the summer/autumn of the same year with FULL POTENCY. One dreads to think what the full effects on those poor bastards were; this is probably why for all their conquering thirst, the Easterling Wainriders won't be able to invade and conquer Rhovanion for another 400 years. Not that will avail them much, as they will be kicked out just a generation later anyway...losers!




The Necromancer is in the Dark Forest

Besides Angmar, Gundabad, Umbar, the southernmost kingdoms and (to a lesser extent) Rhun, there is another focus of evil on western Endor which merits mention: the tower of Dol Guldur.

Of course, the truth is that old Sauron himself is squatting there and bidding his time and planning his BIG PLANS. And he will be (successfully) pulling of the stunt of passing "merely" a Ringwraith for the next 18 centuries. If you you want further proof of just how useless Gandalf the Grey realy, truly is let it be known he had to go to Dol Guldur TWICE before his old brain started working and he found the truth.

Just a few centuries ago, Mirkwood was a nice forest. Now, thanks to the presence of The Necromancer it's a pretty foul and sh*tty forest, as forests go. But it is still a far cry better than it will be when Bilbo and the dwarves take a stroll there, these days you actually find loads of people living around or in Mirkwood itself, and taking the Old Road or travelling trough the forest itself while not exactly safe isn't tantamount to suicide. Just beware of the spiders, giant bears and poisonous flora.


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God-damned, F-ing Mirkwood attercop spiders!!!




There are Kings everywhere

Forget "the line has been broken" and Stewards ruling countries, this is an era of great Kings and great kingdoms. There are kings in Arnor, in Gondor and Rhovanion, there are kings among the Elves and Dwarves and Orcs; there are petty-kings of hill tribes. Hell, even the Hobbits have great leaders at this time. This couldn't be more different than the quasi-schizoid lack of centralized power that we see during the War of the Ring. And of course, these leaders have diplomatic relationships with each other and their subjects come into contact much more often. All in all, it is a more open setting that late-Third Age where a greater number of people has been more than one day's travel away from home.


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The Arnorian King says: "RESPECT MY AUTORITAH!"




The Rangers of the North stand tall and proud as giants

These guys are currently the most paramount, well-known and respected elite military organization among the Mannish Free Peoples and have the full backing and support of the Adunaic Kings, and access to the craploads of money and magic items they have at their disposal. The Enemy fears these guys and with good reason too. It will be quite a long time before they resemble anything like the rag-tag band of wanderers that the common man fears and mistrusts in Aragorn's time.


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JOIN THE ARTHEDAIN RANGERS!
SEE THE WORLD!
BED BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!
FIGHT THE SHADOW!
DIE GLORIOUSLY!




Nothing much will be happening in the foreseeable and unforeseeable future

last but not least, the best thing about this era (circa 1650 T.A.) for people that (like me) hate metaplots is that nothing of great relevance or great transformations will be happening for about 200 years. At that time some major fertilizer will be hitting the rotating device (including among other things the destruction of Umbar, Angmar, Arthedain, the "breaking" of the Royal Dunedain houses and rise of the Balrog) followed by a long, boring, period called "The Watchful Peace" when The Enemy starts laying the foundations for what will become his forces during the War of the Ring in the East and South and nothing much happens for almost 1000 years until Bilbo finds the One Ring.

This is not to say the 17th Century T.A. is dull. Rather, there is an equilibrium that will be maintained for some time no matter whose armies cross which borders and what shenanigans are happening on the background. Best of all, the BIG NPCs aren't doing anything of much importance right now, leaving and the heroics to smaller people...like Player Characters.


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Sorry buddy, but the game is NOT about you. Deal with it.


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mithrandir138
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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#15 Post by mithrandir138 »

I haven't even read all of what you have posted, but rest assured, I will, and you already have be hooked.... Vargr, you magnificent bastard! How can I resist this?!?! Sign me up if it ever makes the light of day.

Will you be using material from the AD&D Wilderness Survival Guide to give a sense of realism? I recommend it highly.


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Brund the Decrepit
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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#17 Post by Brund the Decrepit »

The Bree module had this nifty table too. I am sure there are others just like this to convert d100 but I figured I would throw it out there.

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-Brund

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AQuebman
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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#18 Post by AQuebman »

Vargr,

In response to your first post about not being able to run a game based around the books/movies we all know and love. I actually disagree if the DM handles it properly. It would have to be done in such a manner that the PC's are really keys to the success of the entire story and thus would require the DM to change the story if the party failed. Perhaps the ring is never destroyed, perhaps the PC's end up having to retrieve it and join with the fellowship. It would require Ad-hoc Dm'ing to go along with the original story and would most likely end up becoming a completely different story in the end.

Just a note as I would hate to see people unwilling to try this if you have a crafty enough DM to try it.


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Vargr1105
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Re: The Brothels of Middle-Earth (placeholder)

#20 Post by Vargr1105 »

mithrandir138 wrote:Will you be using material from the AD&D Wilderness Survival Guide to give a sense of realism? I recommend it highly.
I've never really read those. All I know is that the Proficiency system can be found there. I don't even know what system will be used, it depends on the Vox Populi.

Brund the Decrepit wrote:The Bree module had this nifty table too. I am sure there are others just like this to convert d100 but I figured I would throw it out there.
Ah yes, all the modules have something like that. Except for the MERP-AD&D ability score equivalence chart (not the bonuses however) and the Character Level equivalence multiplier all the guidelines are mostly useless...trust me.

AQuebman wrote:In response to your first post about not being able to run a game based around the books/movies we all know and love.
Well of course it could be done. The issue is you still get stuck with a classical railroad campaign: "find item X, take it to location Y, destroy it in manner Z", even if X, Y and Z are all different from the original tale. Plus, you would still be playing in a campaign where "party failure = end of the world". Such games, with zero tolerance for error, are not my cup of tea either as player or GM.

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