Wizard's Basement: Book Titles

[GreyWolfVT]

Here are the first 10 titles in the Study Library.

How to Spot a Mimic – Tips such as listen for breathing, and see if it responds to being touched.
On Monstrous Races – Discusses whether monstrous races should or should not be allowed into society.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Kingdom – A book with not entirely inaccurate advice on ‘how to see the kingdom on less than 30 copper pieces a day’. The very first page contains only the words ‘Don’t Panic’ printed in large, friendly letters.
Magic for Dummies – Explains what magic is and how it works in the style of "for Dummies" books. Does not teach one how to cast spells.
Hit The Apple, Not My Face! – A Detailed Guide to Archery’ This book even includes instructions for constructing a simple bow and targets.
Phylogenetics and the Herbalist – A primer for the professional and newcomer alike.
Eat, Summon, Love – A married woman realizes how unhappy her marriage really is, and that her life needs to go in a different direction. After a painful divorce, she joins a cult of necromancers to ‘find herself’. Based on a true story.
The Wizard of Odds – Betting for Profit by B.M. Sawbuck
Halfling Histories – An incomplete telling of the tales of the half-folk.
Names to Run Away From – A collection of monsters, plant, fungus, magical phenomenon and other miscellaneous ‘things’ that even the most accomplished – or desperate- of adventurers avoid – for they are easy to kill, but they are also a mighty pain in the behind and, even more importantly, in your wallet.

[GreyWolfVT]

Here are the next 10 book titles in the study library.

Forever and Always – The future predictions of a historian who lived two centuries ago. His predictions continue on for another four hundred years.
Prince of Reality – A philosophical book that tries to explain the true nature of reality.
Being Familiar With Your Familiar: The book for casters who wish to bond with their animal companions – A field guide to all common and some uncommonly seen familiars in the area.
Gnome means Gnome – A beginner’s guide to understanding the differences between the shorter races of the realm.
Guinness’ Book of world records - A book crafted over a lifetime by an adventurer named Guinness. It contains accomplishments such as ‘Worlds largest dragon’ ‘Longest time spent in a beholders lair’, ‘Fattest goblinoid’ And ‘Most monstrosities slain in a day.
Personal Care for Adventurers – Tells adventurers how to maintain a clean, healthy look after weeks in the wilderness.
Berries and You – Informs the reader on edible and inedible berries found in the wild.
Magic in the House – The legacy of an archmage suffering from an obsession about cleanliness. Explains how to use the different schools of magic to help with the chores around your home. Apprentices around the world curse whoever thought its good for thier training that they need to do those chores manually.
Every. Accomplished. Recognizable. Sentient. by Tommeltop the Gnome – An encyclopedia of anyone who accomplished anything of moderate note ever, however most of each page is dedicated to greatly exaggerated, suitably cringy and oddly romantic paragraphs about how great each person’s ears must have been. Any brave soul who actually reads the book through is suddenly able to recall in perfect detail the ears of anyone they’ve ever seen before,for no apparent reason.
Harold Haversham’s Holisitic Handbook of Healing – At first it appears to be a beginners guide to crafting potions, however as the book progresses the author becomes more and more adamant that all ailments are purely mental. There is a detailed account in which the author was treating a man for a broken arm and healed it through weekly mental therapy sessions.

[GreyWolfVT]

Here is the 3rd group of 10 titles.

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Harmless! – A hefty guide of herbs, mushrooms and berries that surround the city where the book was found. It contains accurate annotations of the ailments due to consumption or touch, with descriptive drawings of people having diarrhea or throwing up.
So Long, and Thanks for All the Ale – The story of Tarvish the dwarf, who had unpaid bar tabs worth a total of 10,000 gold all across the country before being arrested.
Incredible Creatures and How to Kill Them – Details weaknesses monsters are known to have. It is part of a five-volume set; the first volume is for beginners (level 1-4), the second for the somewhat experienced (level 5-8) and so on.
Landmarks to Visit Before You Die – Details a number of landmarks and monuments in a country or city you have never heard of.
The Outside – A self-written account by someone you know who saw a vision of them self as a small plastic figurine on a table surrounded by a number of god-like beings after they talked to a group of adventurers.
Bordrick’s Fantastic Adventure – Dwarven choose your own adventure book.
A Short History of Dwarves - a short history about dwarves, contains other information about dwarves including theories as to why they have and grow beards.
Secret Doors and Passages - a collection of poetry, some of which is not very good.
How To Use a Sundial In the Rain - an instructional guide on how one can use a sundial in the rain and other weather conditions that might block out the sun.
Spells We Are Still Trying To Make Work - a book containing a bunch of spells that were being created by various wizards over the years that are still yet not functioning properly or fully developed.

[GreyWolfVT]

4th set of 10 titles.

Warlock vs Sorcerer: How To Spot the Difference - book that talks about Warlocks and Sorcerers and explains their differences in extreme detail.
Recipes For Disaster: - A Cookbook.
Sonnets for Sorcerers - a book of poetry written by several different sorcerers.
Doors That Don’t Go Anywhere and Other Dungeon Tricks - a book about how to build and design structures with false doors and other types of doors that lead to nothing, along with many other variations of doors and their use.
Is Your Spouse a Polymorph? 50 Signs They Might Be - book that details how to tell if your spouse might be a polymorphed being.
How To Work a Sextant - an instructional guidebook to using sextants.
Puppetry For Evil and Parties - a book about puppetry and it's various implementations and uses.
Whistling Manual - an instructional manual on whistling and the many ways to do so, as well as other types of whistles.
A Brewer's Guide to Ales - a book written by a dwarf brewer discussing how to create various types of ale, and how to spot good ale versus skunky ale, as well as details about how to tell if it is dwarven made, or made by various other races.
You've Been Transmuted: What Now? - a guide of what to do once you have been transmuted.

[GreyWolfVT]

5th set of 10 book titles

Swords and Somatics: War Wizardry 101 - a guidebook to best spells for use during war times and how to best use them when fighting in a war.
Melf's Guide to Shooting Awesome Shit Out of Your Hands - a book written by a great wizard Melf and his various spells as well as a history on how he came up with these spells.
Book of Mispells: Volume 1 - The title and content of this battered spellbook are incredibly difficult to read. The advance magics within have many grammatical errors and you can't tell if the author is a wizarding genius or a bumbling apprentice, this is the first volume in this like of books.
Book of Mispells: Volume 2 The title and content of this battered spellbook are incredibly difficult to read. The advance magics within have many grammatical errors and you can't tell if the author is a wizarding genius or a bumbling apprentice, this is the second and final volume in this line of books.
Orienteering Without a Compass - a detailed guide to how to find your way and get oriented without the use of a compass.
Tic-Tic-Twang – A detailed guide for creating clockworks, golems, animated items, and traps, rather easily. Restricted in most kingdoms, as its too valuable to outright ban and destroy its knowledge, despite the widespread collateral damage after its first releases. The bounty for the authors is still valid.
Everyday Lives – A compilation of the contents of journals which were obtained from ordinary people.
Bardic Legends From Far Away Lands – A book about legends often sung or performed by bards.
Backstage: 1st Edition – Detailing the more mundane dangers of the adventuring life, like insufficient supplies, inappropriate gear, public reactions, illnesses and the common lack of money – with tips and advices how to prevent them.
Backstage: 2nd Edition – Detailing the more mundane dangers of the adventuring life, like insufficient supplies, inappropriate gear, public reactions, illnesses and the common lack of money – with tips and advices how to prevent them.(the second edition have humorous footnotes from the author).

[GreyWolfVT]

6th list of 10 book titles.

The Fatal Vocation of the Minstrel: The Complete Volume - This book is an account on someone's life written by someone else. This book is leafed through, but otherwise good condition. It is written in Hieroglyphics (Pictograms and Drawings). It is obviously not written in the author's mother tongue.
Glorious Transcripts of the Cleric: Second Printing - This book is an account on someone's life written by someone else. This book is leafed through, but otherwise good condition. It is written in Draconic (Draconic Signs and Symbols).
Treacherous Lands of the Sea: Alleys and Aqueducts - This book is meant to give insight about a specific region or landform and the perils that it may contain. This book is torn/stained pretty badly. Some of the pages are missing. It is written in Common Speech. It a portrait of the author on the first page.
The Proven Confessions of the Sea Captain: A True Heir - This book is an account on someone's life written by someone else. This book is torn/stained pretty badly. Some of the pages are missing. It is written in Elven (Elven Calligraphy). It is hollowed out in the middle and it looks like it once contained a small item.
Ominous Morning - A fiction book, a fable that starts on an ominous morning with a band of adventurers. This book is leafed through, but otherwise good condition. It is written in Common Speech. It is a very thick book.
Forgotten Menus from The Bounty of Esmeralda - A cookbook, This book teaches you how to cook and prepare cuisine from another culture. This book is leafed through, but otherwise good condition. It is written in Hieroglyphics (Pictograms and Drawings). It is very plain and unadorned.
Essays on the Beasts of the Hive: A Hypothesis Most Remarkable. This book gives advice and tactics against stirges. This book is torn, stained, and charred, and most of the book is illegible. It is written in Gnomish (Dwarven Runes). It has a colourful first page.
Harry Otter and the Prisoner of the Fire Plane - a contemporary parody book discussing the exploits of an otter that goes to wizard school and has various adventures. This book is in good condition written in common, it has some illustrations within at certain parts in chapters to depict specific scenes in the story.
Assembled Properties of Concentration - A contemporary skill book, This book is meant to teach the art of concentration and not allowing things to distract you. This book is torn/stained pretty badly. Some of the pages are missing. It is written in Orcish (Orcish Alphabet). It is a very thick book.
Principals Wisdom of Riding - This book teaches the skill of riding various land animals and the correct skill and technices to apply for each one. This is meant to be an instructional book.

[GreyWolfVT]

7th listing of 10 book titles found.

Sexual Habits of the Ogre and the Hydra: A Comparison - Examining the book, one will find: Pieces of paper with notes, in some kind of code, commenting critically on various parts of the book. This book talks about mating habits and theories for Hydras and Ogres.
The Mating Habits of Satyrs - a rather oddly detailed book that talks about anything and everything one might want (or not want) to know about the mating of satyrs.
Befuddling Your Enemies: Illusion Spells - written by Forowen Grimkeep. This book is in common and talks about illusionary spellcraft methods, practice, and how to best use illusion spells. There are even short stories that the author wrote about how they used illusion spells to trick enemies in different situations.
Precious Wines: Forest Treats - a cookbook that has elvish recipes for wines and other elvish foods mostly sweets, or foods that pair well with elven wine or use elven wine in the recipe.
Persistent Summer - A book on pottery and glassblowing. It is written in Common Speech. It is bound in ornate leather.
The Way of Herbs - a book about herbology. Shows the three functions of herbs; eight traditional methods of herbal therapy; the benefits of a macrobiotic diet; herbal treatments.
How to Win Friends and Enchant People - Despite the title, has nothing to do with magic, but it does have some good advice about how to make yourself seem more approachable.
Wager like a Winner - A Goblins Guide to Gambling by Grey ‘Greedy’ Gradnok
Pictures of Cats – A picture book full of photos of cats dressed in cute outfits and doing cute things. It’s about the size of an average dictionary.
The Banshees I Have Loved – A tragedy of five acts.

[GreyWolfVT]

8th listing of 10 more books

How I Ate My Mother – Confessions of a Lycanthrope and his struggles in life as a lycanthrope.
Girl with the Dragon Turtle – a story about a young elf’s journey through life.
Fantastic Beasts and How To Turn Into Them - a book about polymorphing into other fantastic beasts.
The Charming Bones – a tale about a Necromancer looking for love in all the wrong places.
The Drapes of Wrath – a guide to identifying and destroying animated objects.
The Ruler of the Bracelets - It’s about two gnomes who find a bracelet of power, and they have to take it to the Burning Steppes and cast it into the Cauldron. They form the Brotherhood of the Bracelet. Along the way they’re trailed by a murloc named Gottom, who’s obsessed with the bracelet, and nine bracelet bogeymen. It could be a three-parter, called ‘Ruler of the Bracelet’. The first part would be called ‘The Brotherhood of the Bracelet’, followed by ‘A Couple of Towers’, with the climactic ending called ‘Hey, the King’s Back!'”
The Very Hungry Purple Worm – a children’s book about the death and devouring of civilization.
Zen and the Art of Punching Dragons in the Face: One Monk’s Life as an Adventurer - depicts the life of a monk turned adventurer and his teachings of his art, as well as tales of his adventures.
The Dog in the Bog – a children’s tale about a Blink Dog disemboweling a Displacer Beast to save a swamp village.
The Goblins Cook Book – A book about how to best cook goblins

[GreyWolfVT]

9th listing of 10 book titles.

Rune - a story about the application and use of runes from an ancient desert society.
Raging for Help: The Shocking True Story of one Barbarian’s Dark Past - story about a barbarian's true stories adventuring in the world and his dark past.
To Serve Man - An ogre cookbook on the delicate art of cooking humans.
The Prophecies – Tales of great adventures. Partway through, all the pages become blank.
Human? – Story about an ogre who, despite his incompetence, convinced everyone that he was actually a very tall human, became a king, then was discovered and beheaded.
Wish It, Want It, Screw It – detailed accounts of times the Wish spell backfired horribly.
Cockatrice Soup for the Soul – This book is so commonplace, it’s a cliche that in every house where a woman of a certain age lives, there will be at least one heavily-read copy of this book with it’s sappy stories and cloyingly sweet words of wisdom. It is beyond worthless.
My Life as a Human Being – A Dragon’s Observation on Humanoid Culture.
Half Human, Half Horse, All Man – A defense of carnal relationships with beast races.
Dungeon Masters and how to find them - mysterious book describing the seldom-seen beasts called dungeon masters.

[GreyWolfVT]

The last 10 titles found in the study.

Fifty Shades of Drow - A bestseller among women, as it details the finer points of the Matriarchal society. With tips on how to properly train and punish your man-servants while maintaining your femininity, this book would be banned if only men would actually read it.
The life and times of Volo - Autobiographical book featuring the exaggerated and often blatantly false adventures of the well traveled Volo.
What To Do When You Find Children - A guidebook to dealing with found children and other such inconveniences in various dangerous situations.
Learn To Read - An incredibly dense book that details the process of learning the art of reading Common, almost impossible to understand, even for those fluent in Common.
A Study on Cloud Castles - This book presents numerous theories on how the giant’s fabled cloud castles might work.
Rock Hard - The definitive guide to Dwarven diplomacy.
Kobold Jokes - A joke book, written in Draconic. The jokes are terrible, even by Kobold standards.
Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes to Say Out Loud - A thin and surprisingly old-looking book containing a few genuinely good knock-knock jokes. At least one punchline is actually the true name of a powerful demon.
Help! I’m a dwarf turned into a book - an oddly named book that appears to have very little written inside, most of the pages just say the same thing as the title or are blank. Strange.
Short But Stout - A list of recipes and information on Dwarven ale.

[GreyWolfVT]

1 extra book found under a reading desk

Dwarves Have Intelligent Super Beards - a book discussing the purpose and theory behind why dwarves have beards.